The Best Way Forward In These Times
As a young girl growing up in the Christian church, I can still remember the first time I heard this fascinating question,
“At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:1–4)
I was surprised. “Become like little children?” I pondered — that doesn’t make sense.
In my young perspective, being a child wasn’t exactly a plus. Adults didn’t listen to me. I couldn’t do what I wanted. And all I dreamed of was getting older.
I wanted my freedom. I wanted to be heard. I wanted to be a grown-up!
So why would Jesus say such a thing? And furthermore, why couldn’t I enter the kingdom of heaven if I didn’t act like a child?
Pfft. Sooo many questions swirled around that little head of mine.
Fast forward many years later, and I get it.
Yes, Jesus was referring to the openness and learnability of children, but there is something deeper that makes children special. That sets them apart from adults…
My first introduction to the power of curiosity was in my early twenties. But I mainly saw it in connection with romantic relationships.
In the midst of a random discussion with a friend, he asked, “What do you think is the best character trait to have in a partner?” It floored me— what a great question! But because I’m not one for favorites (there’s always two!) or number 1's (those only last so long!), I had trouble narrowing it down.
It went from “being a life learner” to “being open” to… “CURIOSITY!” I was so amped about this discovery that I asked everyone the same question. And inevitably, we’d come back to the same conclusion — being curious.
Think about it — being with someone who is curious about who they are. Who you are. What you like. Don’t like. What your dreams are. What your dislikes are. Why you believe certain things.
And then I dove deeper into the melodramatics of a relationship, like when there are arguments — they get curious instead of getting pissed. They want to know what went wrong to sidestep it in the future. They want to understand versus be right.
And on and on.
I’m a very curious person. I always have been. I loveeee learning. But when it comes to being curious about others, doing the heavy lifting of asking is where I fall short. My intuition is so strong that asking usually isn’t necessary, but that isn’t helpful in relationships. You can’t build intimacy on assumptions — even if you are right all the time. Which I’m definitely not.
It’s a character trait that I’ve continued to work on — to build out. Because I see its enormous potential.
But it wasn’t until 2020 that I realized we as a society need to be more curious about one another. That the connection with romantic relationships needed to extend to ALL relationships.
It is the cure for divisiveness. The differences. The varying views. The ways in which we communicate.
Curiosity needs to be brought into every conversation.
And this year, the Akashic Records put it bluntly (manyyy times) — the best way forward is to lead with curiosity.
To become curious about why people do or don’t want the vaccine. Why people vote one way or another. About sexual orientations different than ours. About the ways other cultures engage with each other.
When we lead with curiosity, we open up space for a whole new way of communicating.
Which is exactly how children do it. They ask endless questions. They dig until they understand on their level — even if that means, they simply have to accept what is. And they leave ego or self-righteousness out of it.
They ask to learn — not to share their opinion. They seek to listen — not speak.
Curiosity is the action step of the highest form of expression we could ever make — love.
Being curious is showing love, it’s embodying love. It’s taking the time to listen. To try and understand. To show respect for what we don’t know. To be open to learning something new.
And don’t we want others to be curious about us?
When we lead with curiosity, we can learn so much. And we can show respect to others who see things differently. These days, that’s about 50% of the population. Obviously, that’s a general estimation, but most topics are divided in near-equal proportion these days. And I personally believe there’s a reason for that.
It’s because we’re learning how to “enter the kingdom of heaven.”
The kingdom of heaven is within us — it comes to life through our creation, our experience, our LOVE. It’s the ability to live in loving kindness towards one another. To focus on what we do have instead of what we don’t have. To live without judgment for others. To see the EPIC beauty of the planet we live on.
When we learn to lead with curiosity — we create that kingdom. We experience it in our everyday lives. And we introduce it to others simply by doing it ourselves.
It doesn’t mean we agree with everyone. It doesn’t mean that we allow ourselves or others to be treated poorly. It doesn’t mean that everything will be aligned.
It simply means that we can meet “others” somewhere in The Middle and let be what is — without judgment or entitlement.
It means we can have difficult discussions. We can find solutions. We can come together.
What can’t we overcome if we lead with curiosity?
N o t h i n g.