Yesssss, I love the Love Languages and that’s my go-to wedding gift, which I think is invaluable.
For me, the first time I read it, it helped me to understand all my familial relationships, such as why my mother and I hadn’t gotten along. It’s funny because I had always said, I know she loves me but we speak different languages. She’s an Acts of Service person who always wanted me helping her work in the yard while I (Quality Time) just wanted her to sit down and have a cup of coffee with me.
Thankfully, I’ve mainly dated guys who’s LL aligned with mine, but my current partner and I had definitely had to make some adjustments. He’s a physical touch person and that’s #4 for me and QT time ranked 2nd or 3rd for him (can’t remember). I had to learn to be more touchy-feely and it’s funny because now I notice when he’s not that way with me and I miss it. And it’s taken some time for him to understand what QT actually means, but we’ve laid out some practical things to help us out. I so wish that physically touch or something easier and less time consuming was mine, haha… Reading your account with your ex made my heart hurt! I can’t imagine being with someone who needed distraction to be with me—would’ve never worked!
Btw, random fact—Christian Mingle, a dating site uses the LL to match people. I used it manyyy moons ago and while the physical attraction wasn’t strong enough for anyone I dated, those dates were a blast. I can definitely see how dating someone with the same LL would be fantastic. Guess the next best thing is being with someone who’s willing to learn yours. Learning to be more physical with people has been good in many ways.
Loved reading this! Would’ve been fun to chat about over coffee