Love this, Carlyn! My partner and I are in what I call, a “spiritual partnership” whereby growth and acceptance are at the core of what we do and who we are. We celebrated our five year anniversary in September and while it’s been anything but easy, neither of us have ever grown so much.
The initial focus for us was radical honesty, in that we promised each other and ourselves to be honest about how we’ve feeling, what we want, when we see the other falling short, etc. And did our best to execute it with compassion (altho it’s definitely not been a grand slam). It provided us the ability to dive in with our eyes open and have confidence in where we’re at as a couple. It’s a defining value we both need and appreciate from one another.
But then earlier this year, we found ourselves at a crossroads and knew it was time to take the next step up or move on.
Years ago, my brother shared (while celebrating his seven year wedding anniversary) that studies show most marriages break before that year mark because people are still trying to change/fix each other. It wasn’t ever something I forgot.
At this crossroads, I realized that radical acceptance was the next step. If we could choose to accept our differences, our flaws, and anything else that wasn’t damaging to ourselves or the other person, then it just might be the key to moving forward.
And thankfully, it’s the best decision we’ve ever made.
I share because at the root of everything you’ve written about here is (I believe) the radical acceptance of our partner. And ultimately, ourselves.
Thank you for another excellent article 😊🙏🏽♥️