Hi Daisy… I hope you’re being kind to yourself. I hope you’re reminding yourself that you’re human and that healing isn’t linear. Nothing happens in a straight line except the one you could’ve doled out for yourself. But you didn’t.

What I see in your story is the strength I spoke to you about last time. The fact you went back and forth so much, the fact you didn’t totally dive in as soon as you got ahold of it shows how far you’ve come.

And sure, you used, but it was in an emotional state, which is usually when relapses go down. Or we make decisions that aren’t in our best. Still, you knew immediately and took action.

I hope you can see how courageous that is! Hope you see it’s one hell of a good step in the right direction.

Healing isn’t linear, it’s up and down. One day things are good and the next they aren’t. Sometimes there’s a reason but others it’s just a mood. A moment.

You can’t erase a 14-year addiction in a one or three month rehabilitation—because it took you 14 years to get to rehab.

It’s like telling someone who’s severely overweight that 1-3 months at a health spa will give them the body of their dreams—it takes time. And even if the physical appearance changes, there’s still all the mental stuff to deal with that got them there in the first place. Because it’s much deeper than surface issues.

The body and mental mind are two different parts of you, operating off of different things and thereby triggered in different ways.

Your writing is so full of heart — keep sharing. And girl, be kind to yourself. You haven’t lived an easy life, there’s a lot to untangle, but you will—you’re strong. One day at a time.

Sending you much love and prayers for your beautiful heart. Take care of you 🙏🏽

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Ahna Hendrix

Spiritual Guide. Akashic Channel. Intuitive Healer. Teacher. Podcaster. When we invest in ourselves, the world benefits. http://ahnahendrix.com