Happy Birthday to Me!

This was taken on my birthday last year. I was drunk, thought I was selfie-cute and had enjoyed a fun night out at my favorite wine bar. But inside I was heartbroken, lonely and lost. ⠀
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To me, this photo fully expresses the enormous growth that’s taken place in the past year because I don’t even recognize the woman in this photo. She’s gone, another phase of Ahna that I quietly put to rest in my eternal quest to be more. ⠀
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This year, I stopped drinking and opened myself up to truly experiencing all the colors of life. I began healing lifetime wounds. I got up close and personal with the dark, murky sides of me and made peace. I discovered how to speak my truth in kinder ways. I put my mental, physical and spiritual health first and negated anything that didn’t align — people or things. I reintroduced the art of cooking with whole foods and learned how they impact my body. I chose investing in feeling good over momentary pleasure again and again. I dove into finding this life’s purpose and tried all kinds of things to see if they fit. I chose my relationship by not running away but allowing it to reshape and refine me. I chose to honor my body realizing that its health can give me a quality of life no amount of money could buy. I wrestled with material addictions and found the root cause of my grief. I lovingly embraced responsibility. ⠀
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This year, was about removing chairs from the table… And I’m still standing. ⠀
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Getting older is such a blessing and such an amazing privilege. While our culture mocks aging, the truth is that it’s beautiful — beyond beautiful. And as a woman, I’ve learned that age grants us the confidence the world stole from us as little girls. ⠀
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I even decided to call the newly emerged wrinkles around my eyes my happy lines, from all the years of smiling, laughing and living on the edge. I earned my wrinkles damnit, and I’m proud of them. ⠀
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There are big plans on the horizon for the upcoming year. I intend on stepping out and taking up space in ways I never have, throwing myself further outside comfort zones and giving more of myself to the world. But I also intend on staying true to all that I learned this year and holding its wisdom close for what’s to come. ⠀
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Life is an epic adventure, a spectacular journey and I’m beyond thankful for the opportunity to enjoy and live it as I have. ⠀
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Here’s to 38 and being proud of my age!

(*Posted November 27th on my Facebook)