Agreed! Although I wouldn’t call “trying to understand it” egoism.

It’s hard to be rejected or to have someone simply disappear, and most people want to know why. I’ve been there and sat around with girlfriends having similar conversations.

As women, we’re taught that much of our worth and value is tied up in being “chosen” by someone, so we often (and easily) shift into “what’s wrong with me?” instead of “is he really someone I want?”

But it doesn’t serve us, which is why I don’t like to play. And also, because of the behavior I’ve seen from men in my life—it’s straightforward.

At the end of the day, I think the real message for dating is—don’t take it personal.

Obviously, it can be very personal. But if we changed the perspective to “everyone is just trying to find their someone” and took care of ourselves (instead of looking for someone to do that), then we’d have better experiences.