My WHY for choosing to not drink for 90 days starting January 1, 2019.
I’ve taken self-induced breaks before in my life. Two came after watching myself get noticeably drunk in public — not something I’ve ever been keen to do. The others were aligned with cleanses or challenges.
But this break is different because it comes from a place of curiosity and a hunger for growth.
As a wise person said, If you want something you’ve never had then you have to be willing to do something you’ve never done.
The idea of living a life without alcohol has always been fascinating to me. I know (and admire) several people who choose not drink at all — who never have — and what those people have in common is health, ambition, and vibrancy of life.
And they haven’t missed out on a thing! (Which is the lie alcohol loves to whisper to me...) They attend parties, go out with friends, etc etc, but don’t drink.
What a novel idea.
I often contemplate what it would be like to live without alcohol, to experience the ups and downs without reaching for a glass (or the thought of), to never wake up feeling icky, to be clearheaded all the time, and on and on.
Yet I LOVE a killer, oaky red. And I’m not a big drinker — I’m a lightweight!
But I still know/knew something isn’t right about it.
It’s a curiosity that’s been creeping up over the years as I’ve seen it wreck lives, relationships, destroy careers, control me, exaggerate everything, steal my health, age me, and leave me feeling foggy and “brain dead.”
What does alcohol give me? How does it benefit me? A false sense of confidence? The ability to ignore my problems or emotions? A way to regain my power? An excuse?
And as my soul began asking more questions, my world slowly became inundated with stories and people sharing their testimonies of giving it up.
But I knew it wouldn’t be possible for me until the time was right. And I was confident the universe would present the opportunity when it was.
Enter my sweet friend with an idea to gather a group of people together to take such a challenge, and I immediately wanted in.
These 90 days are less about alcohol and more about my wanting to feel all the parts of life, to step further into who I am, what I can do, and the woman I dream of being. It’s about learning to create new habits for “dealing” and new ways of discovering fun. It’s about testing my curiosity to see if there’s REALLY much of a difference at all.
The time will pass anyway — will I be any different at the end or still the same??
And finally, because there’s been a lot of change in my life this year, a lot of heartbreak. But everything in me knows 2019 will be an AMAZING year of restoration, healing, and growth, and I want to honor that with this simple sacrifice.
I’m not quitting my beloved wine for forever (unless I decide to), I am choosing a different path, a new path, and am excited to see what is on the other side.
Regardless, a little more me and a little more knowing I CAN DO ANYTHING.
Thank you, friend.